Weather of Oz
Poppy season cut short by peculiar weather.
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E-City Entertainment
Bubble Draws Crowd!
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Friday, March 26, 1999
"The
Wisdom of Oz - Daily from ‘39"
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Volume XCIX Issue III
Parliament Approves!
The shocking departure of our beloved Wizard is overshadowed by the lightening quick approval of handpicked successor, Scarecrow, by both houses of the Parliament of Oz. The decision also enjoys the broad support of the overwhelming majority of the populace as evinced by their vocal approval upon the public pronouncement.
Horse Race
Adds Color to Oz-Fest
The thrill and pageantry of a horse race were added to
the wild celebration of the recent arrival of the "Guests of the Realm" this
week. While no one was quite sure of the winner, the horses running were quite colorful.
Flying Monkeys Charged in War Crimes
Tin Man urges forgiveness.
Questions have been asked and fingers pointed regarding
the culpability of Flying Monkey General, Eep Akkabak, regarding his alleged role in the
recent alleged attack on alleged members of the entourage comprising the Guests of the
Realm. Attacks in the haunted Forrest and the alleged imprisonment and torture of the
alleged alien witch, Dorothy, are under intense scrutiny.
Eep claims "I was merely acting upon the orders of the Wicked Witch of the West." A tribunal has been called to hear the case with War Department Chief, Lion presiding. A swift trial is anticipated. The Tin man has asked us all to "Please, have a heart!"
Glinda’s Bubble Arrives
"People come and go so quickly around here!" offered Good Witch Glinda when asked about her rumored breakup with longtime companion, the Bubble, offering no other comment. Glinda's Bubble has reportedly decided to separate from the famed North Coast Witch’s act and tour with a new supporting crew of longtime Oz residents, Phyllis Dwyer, Jon Dwyer and Mark Amos. They entertained the teaming throng attending the leave-taking of the former Wizard, and will perform at the famed public house, "Doc Watson’s" on the 21’st of March.
Housing Shortage Reduced by One.
Extraterrestrial Gift Gets
Warm M-land Welcome.
Munchkinland resident Gloria Peabblepotter was surprised
earlier this week to find a farmhouse sitting in her door yard. On the front door was a
hastily scrawled note: "Off to see Wizard" and mysteriously signed
"Dorothy." "It’s a puzzler," said the bemused Gloria "but
I’ve wanted a potting house for ever so long and I guess this will do just
nicely!"
Wizard's Corner
Curtain Fastener
Here's a handy tip for when you absolutely, positively
need to keep a curtain closed. Use a "hook and loop" fastener to keep wayward
curtains securely closed.
Just a thought!
HIW,
The Wizard of Oz
Pavers Hit Bricks
Residents Enraged
The Old Oz Road, slated for re-paving, is again at the
center of a bureaucratic row. Members of the Munchkin Regulars on orders of the Mayor of
Munchkinland in rural Oz County refused access to county lands, blocking the paving crew
at the border of the township.
Clerk of Munchkinland Roads and Bridges, Beanif Cleesglorribin, declared a unilateral moratorium on road paving saying "We've been providing visitors with directions to The Emerald City for years and they’ve always started with 'follow the yellow brick road!’ Now they want to cover the road with black tar. It is criminal, it is!"
Coroner Vocifers
Witch is Dead!"
Munchkinland Coroner, Gleebach Snorgtrobbel, upon his quite thorough examination of a
shriveled
corpse, reported to be that of nefarious M-Land mobster, alias "Wicked Witch of the East", reported that the purported corpse was "undeniably and reliably dead".
Village leaders awarded the medal of valor to an alien visitor hailing from a star named "Kansas" (in the far off United States Galaxy.) "The alien witch, who insisted we call her "Dorothy", claimed that the crushing of the mob boss by her landing craft was quite unintentional.
We are happy to be rid of Her Wickedness, in any case." Celebrations carried on through the day. Munchkinland constables were summoned to break up the drunken brawl that ensued upon the alien's sudden departure. Dorothy was accompanied by a smaller witch called "Toe-Toe" or "Toa-Toa" and was last seen leaving the township at a trot on the Y-B Road.
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